Relating to problems
Do you find yourself settling for a lot less in love and for less when it comes to work fulfillment?
Be honest, do you? How long have you been doing this? Weeks, months, years or an entire decade...
I did the same, so no judgement here. I totally understand the feeling and "reasons/excuses" on why you are doing what your doing.
We have a psychological self that makes decisions 'today' based on our 'past' experiences and the self-concepts that we formed because of those experiences, most of them being not worthy and lovable.
I remember kicking butt in my professional life starting out in my earlier twenties, looking SO good having a nice car, clothes, my own place, money to spend on dining out in fancy places 4 to 6 days a week (gaining weight and feeling hungover most days because of it) and yet feeling so lonely and lost in my life.
I basically was just trying to keep up with the "Joneses" believing that would lead to happiness and belonging, but NOPE!!!
Instead, this way of living caused me to attract emotionally unavailable men, friends who were not really friends and TONS of debt.
I was at an all time low for over 10 years. And honestly, reflecting back on this, there was no one to blame for how I was feeling, behaving and acting. All of my decisions and choices were ultimately MY responsibility.
Yeah I could keep blaming my childhood and continue soaking in victimization (which I did for longer than I am proud to admit) but that wasn't getting me anywhere. It actually had me digging an even deeper hole of self-doubt, anxiety and fear about the future.
What I came to do instead (not right away, it took time, a long time about 10 years, when I turned 30 years old to be exact, so just 5 years ago) was really begin examining myself and how I got to where I was at in life. I put Ms. Determined Detective hat on and got to freakin' work! I basically had an emotional breakdown which I now refer to as having a spiritual awakening. Experiencing this awakening, this moment of truth and undeniable love from a higher power after so much suffering is what led me to realizing that I am NOT my past!!
You see, I was giving ALL of my power away to my childhood upbringing, I was identifying with those experiences as my true worth and value as a person and as a woman. I thought and believed constantly that no matter how hard I loved someone and how hard I worked I wasn't worthy of 'unconditional love', success and true fulfillment. I believed strings were always going to be attached. I believed I would ALWAYS have to make sure everyone else's needs and priorities were met before mine if I wanted them to love me and stay. I believed I HAD to please them, get their approval and acceptance in order to be worthy of their time and attention. I believed my life was safer if I walked on eggshells perfectly upsetting no one. This is A LOT of what my childhood experience was like.
What about your childhood and life right now today? Are you constantly walking on eggshells waiting for the other shoe to drop?
So here's what I did, I researched EVERYTHING that I could get my hands on about overcoming unworthiness, fear, self-doubt and why people feel unlovable and do crazy things for it at such the HIGH cost of their own emotional, mental and physical well-being. That's when I came across Life Coaching and was taught by my coach how to do the 'deep inner work' of healing from my past, letting it go, creating new concepts of myself, new productive daily habits and lastly HOW and WHAT actions to take to create the life I have today.
Today I am engaged to an AMAZING man who I am marrying next month, who I also have been blessed to travel this beautiful world with, most recently India (WOW!!! go if you're wanting an experience of a lifetime), in the healthiest shape of my life both physically and mentally. And most profound and rewarding of all is now getting to do this life transformational work I experienced with my coach now with women JUST LIKE YOU!!
I've been teaching and coaching my clients for the past 4 years in 'A Confident Woman Unleashed' my 90 day signature program EXACTLY how to overcome their past and start creating a fulfilling life on THEIR terms If you're ready to be next, I invite you to book in a FREE 30 minute Clarity Call with me here http://bit.ly/nikkiclaritycall. YOU are so so so worthy and deserving of being happy and getting ALL you want in life, but you have to lean in and say YES to yourself for getting the support, guidance, tools and resources you will need. Do that today and watch what ends up shifting and changing for you in the next 90 days!! Book that FREE call now http://bit.ly/nikkiclaritycall.
With belief in you,
Nikki 💛🙏